How do you talk to yourself? It is well known that negative self-talk kills self esteem. Cognitive therapy focuses on helping people talk to themselves more positively, among other things. What names do you call yourself?

When you make a mistake, do you say... What an idiot! How can you be so stupid! Can't you get anything right! What a loser! There you go again! You're not really up to it, are you?!!

Why Do You Talk Like This to Yourself?

• Who else has talked to you this way in the past?
• Why are you still listening to them?

Changing Your Self Talk

• You can't change your past, but you can change the way you talk to yourself today.
• Start by making a LONG list of all the good things you have ever done.
• Catch yourself saying nasty things to yourself.
• Exclaim: Stop it!!
• Say the opposite to yourself, that you have achieved a lot of good things.
• Recite your list of achievements to yourself.
• Regularly review your list of Shoulds and tell yourself it's OK to be less than perfect.
• Be proud of what you have done and of what you are working on.

See also: The Self Esteem Attitude, Low Self Esteem, try our Self Esteem Quiz and the follow up page: Boost Your Self Esteem. Also, read self esteem stories of others.